We Don't Live Here Anymore - 5

Based on a short story by Andre Dubus (In the Bedroom), tells the story of two couples and the marital struggles they go through because of infidelity. This film reminded me of something a professor in college said, to paraphrase, success is really another word for faithfulness. This may sound weird at first hearing, but they are both about the commitments that we have made and the priority that we give to these commitments. Success is usually associated with business and one's work, and has to do with achievement measured in money or reputation. It is a commitment to give priority to work and its rewards because these things are what we value and gives meaning. Faithfulness, on the other hand, is usually associated with marriage or promises between friends or family, it has a more spiritual dimensions to it, this may have to do with the meaning that is less tangible than the rewards of success. The conversations of this film bring this to light. In one scene husband and wife, Jack and Terry, are talking about love and how it is confusing because we usually cannot explain why we love someone, it can't be for what they do (housework in this case), it has to be about who they are, but how do we come to know who others are? Their "essence?" Their identity? Faithfulness, success in relationship, is the valuing of these questions in life. When we strive to know deeply, we can learn to love deeply. In our failed and lazy knowing leads to hurt and failed relationships. I think that if we want the good life, we will need to strive for success: faithfulness in all things, knowing and loving. This is easier said than done in a culture of stoicism and cynicism.